Getting up for a black person on a buss

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My momma's so ugly she had to get plastic surgery. Now I need it.

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What do you get when you cross a monkey and a fish? An unlikely premise upon which to base a joke

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Did you hear about the sea cow who sang "Part of your Herd?" It was the Little Moomaid.

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Why did the woman drown in the bathtub? Her husband was holding her under.

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Hurricane Sandy should be named A-Rod. Cuz he dosent hit anything

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Your mamma's so dumb, we are seriously worried she might hurt herself.

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How can you tell if there is an idiot at a dogfight? When someone pits a Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a moron at a dogfight? When someone BETS on the Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a cheater at a dogfight? When the victory goes to the Chihuahua.

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How do you make a baby stop crying? Make it smell its own diaper then, drown it in its own tears.

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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A: My dog has no nose. B: How does it smell? A: Terrible.

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There once was a man from Peru, he dreamt he was eating his shoe, he then woke up, took a shower, changed, and drove to work.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Jim Jim who? Oops, wrong house.

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Q: Why is it so that antijokes often give you a funny answer? A:.... *hayroll* *crickets* Moral: Im the MoranautBitch!

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Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

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What do You call a man with no arms or legs? Dead, He died of blood loss 3 hours ago

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what is green and red and goes 100 miles per hour? frog in a blender

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I baked tonight. What did you bake? Brownies. What kind of brownies? Chocolate.

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What was the blind man's favorite game? Marco Polo

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What's wrong with a muslim flying a plane? Nothing you racist

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What's funnier than 24? NOTHING!!!

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Lucy laughed at the joke. Then realised she had gangrene.

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What's worse than losing a contact Having a bloody stool

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How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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