Guy 1: "Smells like UpDog in here." Guy 2: "No it doesnt.."

What do u call a bunch of white dudes siting on a bench ......the NBA

Sorry we dont serve time travlers here. A man walks into a bar.

A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

Mary- Hey Dallas, do you have a suitcase? Dallas- Yeah, why? Mary- I need a suitcase

Whatsthe difference between a pile of dead babies and a chicken? Chickens don't make me laugh.

Did you go swimming in the Carribean Ocean? Yes, a shark ate my body, and killed me! Thank God I'm still alive!

the anti-joke.com joke was just like a normal joke. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

what is big round and fat? Your MOM

What do astronauts and Wayne Rooney have in common? I don't know. Ok.

What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

Whats Black and White and Red all over? A penguin in a blender.

If a tree falls in a forest and only one women is there to hear it, does i make a sound? Trick question: there's no forests in kitchens.

Why did Jerald heat up pizza? Because he was hungry.

Why did the man cross the street? Because no cars were coming and he wanted to get to the othher side

how many jews does it take for me to be able to have sex with my cousin's girlfriend? idk, but that's how many I need. actually let me have some extras. couldn't hurt.

what's a self-driving car 10 years from now? probably just "a car".

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was walking.

So, there was two successful business men at a social gathering when one leans in to the other to comment, "Hey, that women over there, she looks like your wife!" to which the other one replies, "That is my wife."

Q. Why was the black man sad? A. He had a book nailed into is leg.

What does two plus two equal? 4

One dog says to the other "I love going for walks!" A women over-hears, screams "A Talking Dog!", and calls the police. The dog is put down and dissected for scientific research.

Q: why cant elvis draw a picture. A: cause hes dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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