Whats two plus two? Miles

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Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

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why did the white man read the New York Times? because HuffPo is horrible. I mean, it's so so so shitty. it's like a wannabe buzzfeed, which ought to say it all.

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What color is the bus? Yellow What color is the bus? Yellow What color is the bus? Yellow What color is the kid? Red because he got hit by the bus.

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24

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a would chuck could chuck wood? Home depot

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Who job is it to protect the forest? Obiously a male and/or female forest ranger of smokey the bear. It's that simple.

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If Timmy has 2 apples and Sarah has 7 apples, what is the square root of the distance of Mars and Jupiter divided by the speed of light if X equals the value of negative infinity given the equation X(2) - E=MC/7?

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What do you get when you cross drugs with a bathtub? Whitney Houston's worst nightmare

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How do you get your dog to stop barking? You snap its neck.

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Friends are like potatoes. I don't have any potatoes.

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A black man, a white man, and a group of Jews were all walking down the street. They got hit by a bus.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No. Oh don't worry then.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was trying to kill himself in the fastest and easiest way due to his drinking problems, which in the first place separated him him from his wife, who is fighting with him in court for custody of there only child ,Steven. He can not even pay the rent on his apartment or hold a job to pay child support..he is also in debt.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is dead, and thereby lacks the necessary motor control.

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What did the scarf say to the hat? Nothing, a scarf can't talk.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well neither has he.

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What do you call a Muslim that walks onto a plane? A passenger

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The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

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Why couldn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it was dead, thus incapable of independent movement.

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A hispanic man eats a taco and enjoys. He is kicked in the nuts 2 months later.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It didn't, instead it got put in to a McDonald's chicken wrap. Life is funny sometimes, and sceane

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly my dick down your throat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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