You life story is the perfect cure for insomnia. [L]

Can you spell iCup? I see you pee?

Barney is a dinosaur We see on medication! And when we are high on drugs He's a hallucination!

I regret everything.....

Why was the white man chosen for the job over the black guy? He had more work experience and was clearly the better suited applicant.

Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes, how may I help you?

What's the difference between a lion and a stuffed lion? One is for children to play with, one will eat you alive.

Q: what did one kangaroo say too the other kangaroo? A: I was told I am schizophrenic.

Why do monkeys fly with their wings? Because Elephants tend to run out of battery.

A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and his problem is destroying his family.

How did Mario finally defeat Bowser? He took Steriods

Why was the five-year old lying in the middle of the sidewalk? Because he was dead.

Why did the black guy buy watermelon? It was on sale.

Hello, this is Chuck Norris speaking.

What's beneath Chuck Norris's beard? A chin I presume, as that is what most humans have under their beards. Chuck Norris is a human and therefore is likely to have a chin. This is all based on the assumption that he is a human, because of the many characteristics he has shown that are humanlike.

A man walks into a bar, gets caught in a knife fight, and dies horribly. The funeral was closed casket.

Q. Why did the Unicorn die A. It got hit by a Bus

Three men of different ethnic and socio-economic upbringings enter a pub. A strange situation befalls them or a question is posed. The first two respond in turn, in manners typical of their profession or educational background. The third, however, either draws on his specific expertise and responds so as to outwit the others, or makes an egregious and pun-filled blunder, leaving himself open to mockery by his peers.

What is the result of a couples' feud? 96.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. Due to the height of the fall, one of his ribs pierced his heart and he also suffered extensive head trauma and internal bleeding due to the force when he hit the floor, where he lay in agony for several hours before dying a slow, painful death.

two kids find a condom so they decide to show their mum the mum snatched it off them saying never to touch one of them again the kids went to their room "Mum sounded pretty angry about that thing "Lucky we didnt tell her about the yohgurt we drank out of it

why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. What do you call a man who gets a check in the mail every month for doing nothing? A black man

whats bloop with an m? matthew

LET

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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