Your mom is so fat, that when she went to the doctor, the doctor told her she had Type II Diabetes.

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What's white, warm, and dangerous? Cum.

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One man says to another "Hey you have banana in your ears." The other man replies "I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I didn't use protection So here's your baby

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How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her.

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What do you call a seagull that flew into the bay? Wet.

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What do you call two banana's on someone's feet? Garbage.

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What do you call a group that has a microphone, a bass, two guitars and a drum kit? A Band

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A girlfriend told her boyfriend it soaked all the way through. She screwed up their art project.

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What's worse than bombs? Nukes

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i have a six pack.... of crayons......... just kidding i ate two of them

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What's the deal with airplane food? Why don't they serve it as a complimentary part of the flight anymore?

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Rose: Mummy, why did you name me Rose? Mother: Because a rose fell on your head when you were a baby Daisy: Mummy, why did you name me Daisy? Mother: Because a daisy fell on you when you were a baby Fridge: durr hurr Mother: Shut up, Fridge

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What did the lamp say to the pencil? Nothing. Lamps and pencils are inanimate objects and are also non sentient so therefore are incapable of talking or listening or having any emotions.

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Knock Knock. -Who's there ? It's me. -Come in.

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why did your parents die? because I thought it was funny...

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What happenes if you put an elephant in the fridge? Nothing, it wouldnt fit.

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every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute goes by.

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In Soviet Russia life had both pros and cons.

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Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

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A funny joke: Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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What do you call it when you see a black man break his arm? There isn't really any name but I suggest he seeks medical attention.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colourblind.

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What did the three sixteen year old boys do to the homeless man late at night? Wished him a happy birthday and gave him a meal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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