What did the father say to his son? I'm leaving and I'm not actually your father.

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What's the difference between a baby and a textbook? You throw a textbook at the wall with TWO hands.

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How do you get your clock to stop ticking? Hit it with a sledge hammer.

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone? She got hit by a bus Why was Billy laughing? He was driving the bus Why did Bobby drop his ice cream? Billy put the bus in reverse Why was Johnny crying? Sally and Bobby stole the money from his bank account and now he is poor and homeless

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Why did the boy cry when he sat on Santa's lap? Because Santa's boner reminded him of his pedophiliac step-father.

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OMG SOHPIE IS SOOOOO GREAT AT BLOWING Josh Brown xoxo

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How do you get a one armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

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I dont often wash my hands in the bathroom but when i do its so people dont think im gross.

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What do you call a room with an oven and ten Jews in it? A kitchen.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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On a scale of 1 to Kevin James, how much do you exercise?

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Mary- Hey Dallas, do you have a suitcase? Dallas- Yeah, why? Mary- I need a suitcase

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A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

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What do u call a bunch of white dudes siting on a bench ......the NBA

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Guy 1: "Smells like UpDog in here." Guy 2: "No it doesnt.."

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what do u call a fat guy in a pool u

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Q: What happened to the dead baby? A: It was Buried

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Mark Twain, Jesus, and Bill Gates are sitting at a bar. Someone messed with the space time continuum again.

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Whatever you do in life, give 100%… unless you’re giving blood.

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I'm so hungry I could eat a well prepared meal!

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Yo momma so fat, she's dead.

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What did the Jew say right before a boy threw a quarter in a fountain? Make a wish.

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Whatsthe difference between a pile of dead babies and a chicken? Chickens don't make me laugh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops