Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

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a black man is chasing a white man,, "sir you dropped your wallet'!!

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? A basketball.

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What did the horse say to the cow? Nothing because animals cannot speak.

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What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Roses are Black, Violets are Black, I am Ray Charles

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why was 6 afraid of 7 He raped him the other day

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Three blonds walk into a bar ... They said ouch!

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This is the worst anti-joke on the entire site. Just look at all the thumbs down!

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What's worst then finding an worm in your apple. Finding a colony of flesh eating bugs after you toke a bite.

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Chuck norris doesn't make his own butter he roundhouse kicks the cow and the butter comes straight out.

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Whats worse then getting AIDS Math class

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What did the angry man with tourette syndrome say when he smashed his thumb with a hammer? Ouch.

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Why was the plumber sad? Because his family died in a car crash

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John Cena

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Why did the boy cry when he got circumcised? Because he couldn't fap.

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guest what i love pancakes

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What happens when the hydro goes out for 1 second? 1 minute? 1 hour? 1 day? 1 month? 1 year? -1.8 people die. 105 people die. 6,306 people die. 151,338 people die. 4,603,198 people die. 55,238,376 people die. Aw shit, then you have to take account for how many people die of starvation :\, and the ones who froze to death, and the ones who died from heat stroke, And the ones who died of Alzheimers.

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Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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What do a black man and an elephant have in common? They are both multi-cellular organisms, they both belong to the kingdom Animalia, the phylum Chordata, and the class Mammalia, they both possess vertebrae, they both move through legged locomotion, they both possess knee joints and they both possess the capacity for altruistic behavior.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "A door to door salesman. Are you unsatisfied with the way your dish soap handles your plates? Then I have the product for you!" "I'm not interested in your product, but thank you anyway." "No problem. On an off note, how did you hear me? I didn't speak very loudly when I said knock knock, and I didn't even bother to knock on the door or ring the doorbell." "I have really good hearing." "Oh, okay. And for future reference, maybe you should open the door when talking to a visitor. Then body language gets established and the conversation flows more nicely that way." "That's some good advice, and I'll take it. Thanks, salesman." "You're welcome. On to the next house."

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things, because a dead baby isn't funny at all.

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What's as hard as a rock? A rock

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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