Q:Whats not funny? A: Antijokes

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wanna hear a joke? women rights. -ZombieUr

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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Q: What did the homeless man say when he was mauled by a bear? A: Ouch.

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Wizard: If you could get any one thing in the world, what would it be son? Son: Another father that grants more wishes.

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Q: What did the monkey say to the parrot? A: I like trains so feed me bananas!

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Yesterday, my friend said I should facebook him. So I slammed a book into his face.

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what's faster than an asian on a bicylce on payday? many things

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An Arab walks into a bar. He doesn't explode, and has a fun time with his friends.

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What a person such as you would say. Anyway, did you notice how I started by emulating your way of typing, spelling, spacing and so on?

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A elementary school child was waiting at the bus stop for the bus to come. All of the sudden, the bus comes around the corner, pulls up, stops and he gets in.

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What's green, has 4 legs and can kill you if lands on your head? a pool table.

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Q: What did the architect say after he tripped? A: My mother died of cancer when I was 6.

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Your mom is so fat, that when she went to the doctor, the doctor told her she had Type II Diabetes.

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One man says to another "Hey you have banana in your ears." The other man replies "I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

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What's white, warm, and dangerous? Cum.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I didn't use protection So here's your baby

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How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her.

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What do you call two banana's on someone's feet? Garbage.

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What do you call a seagull that flew into the bay? Wet.

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What do you call a group that has a microphone, a bass, two guitars and a drum kit? A Band

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What did the lamp say to the pencil? Nothing. Lamps and pencils are inanimate objects and are also non sentient so therefore are incapable of talking or listening or having any emotions.

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What's worse than bombs? Nukes

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i have a six pack.... of crayons......... just kidding i ate two of them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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