what do you call a monkey? a monkey

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Where did Jonathon go after he died? - Burger King, he died from diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was Ethan talking to the potato? Because he is stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

whats black and white? Micheal Jackson. - Avery Vartanian

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Jerry: Why arent you talking to me Seth? Seth then explains using sign language that he was born mute and is offended that Jerry keeps forgetting. Then Jerry uses sign language to say" **** off i have alzheimers!"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I went to the doctor & he gave only 6 months to live. I told him I couldn't pay my bill, he said "that doesn't change the fact you're going to die soon."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock knock! Who's there? Wristwatch! Wristwatch who? Orange ya glad I didn't say banana

thumb_up thumb_down +7

your mamma so fat... she went to hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the tourist in Africa get? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why cant dogs write letters? They do not have the dexterity to hold a pen, or even comprehend the basic language skills and grammatical layout of how to write a letter

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is the difference between a white man and black man who are facing each other? They have different rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What does a casino have in common with a woman liqur in the front, and poker in the back

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Are you from Tennessee? Because you look like a product of incest

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Do you love me? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: What did the passengers think of thier Chineese bus driver? A: They were very pleased with the bus driver's service, for he was a very safe driver and got them to their destination on time.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

You've been in robotics too long if you start talking to your tools. You've been in there way too long if they start talking back!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

So there's this one Cheerio who really likes this frosted Cheerio. He walks up to her one day and asks her out. She responded, "no I only date frosted Cheerios." The Cheerio then went and got a tutor, he became very, very smart and turned into a multi-grain Cheerio. He goes up to the frosted Cheerio and asks her out. "no, you're still not a frosted Cheerio." he gets a gym membership and works really, really hard and becomes and apple cinnamon Cheerio. He asks her out again, "no you're still not a frosted Cheerio." so he goes to church too and becomes a honey nut Cheerio. "no you're still not a frosted Cheerio." he focuses and tries even harder than ever before and finally becomes a frosted Cheerio. He asks her out, "will you be my girlfriend? I heard about this party this weekend we can go to." she answers, "I'll be your girlfriend, let's go to that party." So, they go to this party. The boy asks. "do you want anything to drink?" the girl says "sure maybe some wine." the boy en goes to the wine store. There's a super long line and he waits and waits but goes back to the party. He tells her and asks her if she wants anything else. "some soda maybe." he goes to the soda shop and there's another long line and he waits until he can't take it and goes back again. He tells h and asks her if she wants anything else. "some punch please." He goes to the punch store, and there's no punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

When A White Man Sees A Magic Trick - He Claps When A Black Man Sees A Magic Trick - He Does Handstands, Celebrations, And Shouts

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What does a black guy and an apple have in common? They're both apples except for the black guy

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a Chinese person with a computer for a head? Dead because it is impossible for your heart to function with out a brain

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why does mcguigan get made fun of ? Because he is gay with Jack Walsh

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than getting bit by a spider? getting bit by two spiders What's worse than getting bit by two spiders? getting raped What's worse than getting raped? a butterfly landing on you

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q. How do you make time fly? A. It is highly impossible to make time fly for there is 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, and 60 seconds in a minute so therefore the time flows how it should and we do not have such power to do it even though many people claim they do when they know they really don't

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops