How did Steve Jobs die? Of cancer, in a bed, and surrounded by his loved ones.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia And so do I..

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Pants and God shorts: God: Jews ur my people nao! Jews: Yay we are Gods chosen people! Riches and gRape awaits us! World domination next! God: Well, not quite what I meant but, err... Close enough? Jews: YAY! Moral: So much for "the chosen ones" :(

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if life hands u melons, make melonade.

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what's worst then having no internet access for a year? having no facebook notifications when you finally do

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Knock Knock Who's There 42

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What did Valerie get for her birthday? Nothing. Because no one loves her

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A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game. She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand." "What did you not understand?" And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? no eyed dear what do you call a dear with no head? dead!

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What's black, brown and red? My dog as a serial killer

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A fat cat sits on the ground staring up at a fence. The fence stares down at the cat and laughs.

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When I'm through with you... They will never find your body... And even if they did... All they find would be teeth!!!

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Hi i want a cheeseburger and a small fry, said bob. And then, said the guy taking the order. thats all, said bob. And then, said the guy. Ummmm ok well i take small coke, said bob. And then, said that guy. Thats all, said bob. and then, said the guy. whatever i'll take a milkshake, said bob. And then, said that guy. and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then

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Man 1: is that boy high? Man 2: No. He has down syndrome

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

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Two muffins are cooling on a windowsill. One muffin says to the other "It sure is a beautiful day today." The other muffin says "Holy shit! A talking muffin!"

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What's worst than dropping your watch into the gutter? Waking up with a penis on your head.

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What do you call a Serbian-Australian man with no arms, no legs, and two feet. Nick Vujicic

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What's harder than killing a baby? My penis while doing it. by: Lucky7 LG

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Why did Piglet look in the toilet? He was probably fascinated by the flush.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your roommate, I forgot my keys.

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Why did the baby's bedroom smell so bad? The mom farted.

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what's worse than the holocaust living jews

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How did john walk on the sun? We don't know, he probably burned to death before getting close.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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