Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

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What did little Timmy do in the Library? Read

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Why do babies have soft spots? The skull of a baby is made up of skull bones, and in the places where the bones meet there are soft spots made up of a strong cartilage to allow the skull to grow with the baby's brain.

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dead cat.

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Why did the woman drop her keys? She was being raped.

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You know what really grinds my gears? Insufficient lubricant.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the American family left the McDonald's with freshly bought chicken nuggets in their possession, and needed to cross the road to return to their home and eat said chicken.

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How do you make a car? You build it.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Which brains do zombie like most? Zombies dont exist.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men

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What comes after 69... Mouthwash

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my mom texted me telling me that my dog died... then she texted me the letters LOL... i texted back asking wat was funny!? she thought it ment 'lots of love' :p

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There is more than one way to skin a cat. I used a potato skin peeler.

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What's sad about an elderly couple who has had a long, fruitful marriage? Nothing.

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Your Mommas so scary slender is afraid of her -_-

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Why was the little African child sad? He had recently been denied an education only 4 days after witnessing his mother being raped and cut in half by a machete. ....he also had aids. ......and was in Africa.

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Your mama's so fat, she cries daily and regularly questions her purpose in life.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Hearing the same holocaust joke seventeen times.

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I like cookies... GIVE ME ICE CREAM.

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why did the women cross the road? she didnt, theres no road in the kitchen.

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Q: Why are all black people fast? A: Because the slow ones are in jail.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Cher. Cher who? Just Cher.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Poems don't have to rhyme... Refrigerator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops