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How do you kill a blonde? A gun.

There were two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Does it feel hot in here?". The other muffin says back, "Holy crap! It's a talking muffin!".

Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get back before curfew.

I have 20 dollars and 27 cents. How much money do I have? 20.28$ I found a penny.

What's worse than Patrick in a blender. Uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, idk.

So an Alex Gedrose walks into a bar, and orders peanut butter and jelly toast on buttermilk with extra Linda on the side.

roses are blue violetrs are green im shooting heroine into my head

That was me, I thought we where friends now... I am so sorry, I really did not send anyone nor anything, I would never do such a thing! What happened to you is terrible, I did say I knew who they where and that they are in prison, but that was a lie, I just wanted for you to think I was really confident and in control. Please Nero, let me speak to you, nothing is like you think, Jenny is my stepmother, please don't do anything.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse, "Why the long face?" The horse cannot understand what the bartender said and instead finds it threatening, so it has a complete spasm and wrecks the whole bar.

Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the only way to get across

How do you stop 5 black guys from raping one white girl? You call the police.

What did tyler say to Jake? My pussy is wet jew

why wouldn't the man's car work? because it was broken.

give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

Q. What is ginger and ginger? A. a ginger

What happened when the lawyer went surfing? A shark came up and tore his leg off.

How can you tell the difference between Brooke Colbert or any other girl Jesse has been with? It's easy, Brooke the only one Jesses ever been with. They even share the same bra size.

Roses are red, Here's something new. Violets are violet, Not f***ing blue.

Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the bat mobile? A: Robin get in the bat mobile.

What does it mean if your born on opposite day? you have sids

Why did the Chinese family eat a dog? Because they were poor and starving refugees.

Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passenger seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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