What did the frog say when he heard his family was dead? "ribbit"

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One is plastic and dangerous to children. The other holds groceries.

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what did the downsindrome get for christmas?? A: Aids and a Dead wife

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im @ work, LOL.

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What is big, eats cats, smells good, but looks like shit? A big, cat eating, good smelling piece of shit

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A lysdexic man tries to spell rentally metarded.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "what is this, some kind of joke?!"

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What makes boys so stupid? They like to play with girls' hearts and break them until they spew out blood all over the place.

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Did you hear about the 2 pretzels walking down the street? It's not true, pretzels are not capable of autonomous movement.

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Q: how do you stop a baby's crying keeping you up at night A: pull out it's wind pipe

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Whats black and is on sale in shops? Blackberries.

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Life

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Why dont jews eat pork? Because the torah doesnt allow cannibalism

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Why did the Muslim suicide bomber commit suicide? He was nervous and didn't think he could hijack a plane.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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I baked tonight. What did you bake? Brownies. What kind of brownies? Chocolate.

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A dyslexic man gets asked what 1+1 is, he replies with a wopping 11. Grats <3

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the Mortgage company. You haven't payed your loans. The man loses his house and becomes homeless.

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why did the asian wearing a sombrero buy orange juice at 2am? because hes trying to stay sober and do away with alcohol for good because its ruining his family and he wants to be a good father and husband.

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*Walk Into The Bakery* "Excuse me, sir. How much does the challah cost (holocaust)?

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A priest, a rabbi, and a monk are standing near a cliff. They say that they are of the best religion. The priest jumps off the cliff and says "God save me", he dies. The rabbi says "Allah save me", he dies. The monk says "Buddha save me" he is saved, in relief he says "Oh thank God" he dies

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Q. What's a pirate's favorite type of movie? A. It depends on the individual pirate, although most modern-day pirates are from third world countries like Somalia and so are too poor to be able to watch many movies. Classical pirates like those depicted in Treasure Island or Pirates of the Carribean are, of course, from a period of history before movies had been invented, so couldn't possibly have had a favorite.

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Why can't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? Because it takes years of hard training to accomplish such a remarkable feat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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