DON'T TOUCH MY DUCK, IT HAS A ONE DOLLAR BILL

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Q: What used to be black, and then became white, and touches young boys? A: Michael Jackson.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing he died.

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what did helen keller say to the nazi? -nothing, helen keller was blind and deaf so she could never aquired the ability to speak

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A black man, an arabic man, and a hispanic man are all in a car, who is driving? The black man.

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what's worse than the Holocaust. Finding two worms in your apple.

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why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

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Wanna hear a joke? Niklas Bendter being good at soccer. Wanna hear a funnier joke? Your Mom Wanna hear the funniest joke?

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Q: What did the clam say to the postman? Moral: "Hey its me the worlds only talking clam! How you doing dude!"

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Q: What do is it called when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A: Why give it a name when it is never goin to happen!

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET.

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you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

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Why couldn't Bruce drive a truck? Cause Bruce was a Fish.

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Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

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Q: What do you call a Polish astronomer? A: Copernicus.

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Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, "You man the guns, i'll drive."

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What's worse than winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPFTeHEsAS4 You will not be disappointed.

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A German challenged an Englishman to a duel But their neigbours found out and alerted the police

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What did the Asian say to the Mexican working at the friutstand? Hi, I'm Asian!

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Me Chinese Me no joke Me die of cancer.

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Roses are blue Violets are buckets this poem makes no sense Washing machines

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Why didn't the cat have any legs? Because it was a snake

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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