-Knock Knock - Who's there? - Child Protective Services, we have multiple reports of you abusing several of your children...

A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. (Don't ask me how that's possible, just go with it) As the bartender is pouring it, he asks "Why the long face?" The horse responds "My son died of cancer this morning..."

*knock knock* "Who's there?" "It's the police, I'm afraid your husband was in a car crash and died."

What do you call a black male teacher? A: A Teacher .

So, there's a lion loose in Colchester. Should've gone to Specsavers... [L]

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a convicted rapist.

Q: What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Cancer

whats 2+2? math.

Why did the girl scream for help? She was being raped.

Why was the pirate not allowed into the movie? tickets were sold out

Did you hear about the man who discovered the secret to making women happy? Neither have I.

A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she had no arms... Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

What is the difference between baseball and the holocaust? One is a fun sporting event…. The other is baseball.

Why did Sally fall off a tree? She wanted to get down

Why did the man paint his dog blue? He has some strange mental condition and is incapable of controlling his own actions.

What do you a black man who isn't flying a plane? Well, that depends on his occupation.

what do Jewish people and pizzas have in common? they enjoy parties

What do you call a mexican with a broom in his hand? a man who likes to keep his office at his own company clean

A hat fell into the Indian Ocean. What happened to the hat? It got wet

What do you do if you have a worm in your apple you throw it away

Why couldnt the dog bark? The dog didnt exist.

As far as I know, the day after tomorrow is going to be YOUR lucky day, because you will be tasting sausage for the first time with your lower lips... No seriously, you cant be virgin, you can tell me the truth, you like 24 or something?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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