In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's funny about a dying dog? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REDD REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED................................that is all LOL

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do blueberries, oranges, watermelons, doors, curtains, backpacks, spoons, asian men, bicycles, asian men on bicycles, shrimp, books, eagles, dinosaurs, watermelons wearing backpacks filled with shrimp and orange spoons, feet, limes, binders, paper, candles, chicken nuggets, tvs, chairs, floors, refridgerators, and humidifiers have in common? Barnes and Noble

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A little boy walks up to his father and asks him a question, "Daddy, how are babies born?" His father then replies in an enthusiastic manner, "You see, I stuck my dick in your mom's vag and started pounding. Apparently two condoms defeat the purpose."

thumb_up thumb_down -27

roses are red violets are blue everyone is stupid how about you? -I'm not Im black

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Chuck Norris." "Chuck Norris who?" "NOBODY SAYS 'CHUCK NORRIS WHO'!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How can you outsmart Stephen Hawking? Steal the wheels of his chair and replace them with a dolphin.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Billy was so silly that he named his pet zebra Spot.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what do you call a man without an umbrella? wet

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I walked in ony my daughter masturbating. The whole ordeal was very uncomfortable, but I sat her down at the dining table to discreetly explain the necessity of locking doors.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the little boy have to go to the hospital? He dropped his ice cream. Why did he drop his ice cream? He got hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what do poor black guy and poor white guy have in common..................................................... their poor

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Hey Jew. What? Shut up.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Knock Knock? Whos there? The police, please open the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's worse than the holocaust? An open-minded black man.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

your mothers so silly she saw a rock and sat on a chair.......?

thumb_up thumb_down -29

H o m o comes out as homo

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Where do you guys find all these jokes? Your mom's Vagina

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

how does chuck norris eat an apple Just like every other person

thumb_up thumb_down -29

why is coltin alexander such a duche? because no one loves him

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops