So a man walks into a bar carrying a giant clock. One of his friends asks, "Hey, whats up with the clock?" His friend then responds, "A goddamned genie gave it to me, i can't take it anymore. Here take his lamp." The man decided to rub the lamp and thinks to himself, "Gee, I'm gonna wish for 1 million dollars." The genie comes out and asks the man, "What wish could i grant you today?" The man says, "I wish i could have 1 million dollars!!" The genie replies, "As you please." All of a sudden, a studded dog collar appears. Then another, and another. Soon there were 1 million dog collars in the bar. The man yells, "WHAT IS THIS?!?! I DIDNT WISH FOR 1 MILLION COLLARS!!!" His friend then replies, "I didn't wish for a giant clock either...."

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if you have two gay people, would their kid be gay too? oh wait....

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What is a Zebra? Zebras (/?z?br?/ zeb-r? or /?zi?br?/ zee-br?)[1] are several species of African equids (horse family) united by their distinctive black and white stripes. Their stripes come in different patterns, unique to each individual. They are generally social animals that live in small harems to large herds. Unlike their closest relatives, horses and donkeys, zebras have never been truly domesticated.

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Why did the little boy have gum on his shoe? Because he stepped on it

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What's the difference between white and black? White is Caucasian and black is African-American.

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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Q: What do you get when you put an ice cube, a grasshopper, a cell phone battery, and a human finger in a freezer? A: A very strange mix of objects indeed.

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What did michael say to sam? (pedo face) YEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What's two plus two? Window

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Hehe 9/11 Funny Stuff If you know what I mean!!

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why do they sparkle?!?!?!?!

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How many jews can you fit into an ash-tray? none because the volume of a human is much greater than an any ash-tray

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There are a black guy and a Mexican in a car, who`s driving? The cops

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why was the number 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't.

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What did the ethiopian give his wife for her birthday? HIV

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what would happen if every overweight person in america jumped at the same time? they would all get a little exercise.

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My real life is like my iPad I don't have an iPad.

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How do you sink a Polish battleship? You breach the hull.

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What's the difference between an X-box and Michael Jackson? One is an inanimate object and the other is a human being.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was involved in a homicide at the Children's Hospital resulting in death row right away and the killing of 12 other numbers

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A black guy and a white guy are walking down the sidewalk. As it suddenly begins to rain, what does the white guy say to the black guy? Nothing. They did not know each other.

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What do you think would happen if there was a zombie apocalypse? You would just die.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What the **** did i just do? I have no clue......

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops