Why did the black guy buy watermelon? It was on sale.

Why was the five-year old lying in the middle of the sidewalk? Because he was dead.

Did you hear about the man with 3 balls? He liked tennis

Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes, how may I help you?

Why do monkeys fly with their wings? Because Elephants tend to run out of battery.

How did Mario finally defeat Bowser? He took Steriods

Q: what did one kangaroo say too the other kangaroo? A: I was told I am schizophrenic.

How do you make a gorilla stop chasing you? You shoot him.

What's the point of going to college? There is none.

Opinions are like assholes, neither one can ride a bike, except for the assholes

Why was the white man chosen for the job over the black guy? He had more work experience and was clearly the better suited applicant.

Can you spell iCup? I see you pee?

The Joke Below

Barney is a dinosaur We see on medication! And when we are high on drugs He's a hallucination!

I hate blackniggers

Doctor Doctor! I think i'm epileptic! I'm not the Doctor, I'm the receptionist. You're a hypochondriac, now wait in the Que, like everybody else Mrs. Davis.

Two ladies are walking down a road. One says, "It's freezing out here!" and then the other woman, who is a scientist, says "No it's not freezing. The freezing point of oxygen is -365.82 degrees F. So, unless it is actually that temperature outdoors, I highly doubt that it is freezing outside."

What does an Irishman say to you in the morning? Nothing because you only speak French.

A mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." and then the mushroom walks out.

Why didn't the kid get a bike for Christmas? Because his parents died and Santa's not real

8=> >->-o

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

What do you call a fish with 6 legs? A fish with 6 legs.

Slow and steady wins the race, But only in some cases. Mostly never.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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