So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why couldn't the dumbass go to colledge? He couldn't open the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a gay Chinese math teacher? A gay Chinese math teacher.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

So two cannibals are eating a clown. Cannibal one: Does this taste funny to you? Cannibal two: Considering that this man was a clown he must have been in poverty so he resulted to being an alcoholic and maybe over dosed on over the counter drugs. Cannibal one: Thank you for that reasonable answer.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did Sam Houston Say to Jim Bowie when he say all the Mexicans coming Towards the Alamo? That's a lot of Mexicans.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Yo momma so fat she when god said let there be let he said get the fuck out the way!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

how many birds did chuck norris kill with one stone? one.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A man crashed his boat and is lost in the ocean. He comes across a cruise ship, and they ask if he wants help. The man says, "No. God will save me, but thanks anyway." Later on that night, he is eaten by a shark.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why is my penis so small? No, seriously, can anyone tell me?

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A Pool Table.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why can't Larry drive? Larry's a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's the difference between a baby and an onion? One is a vegetable and the other is a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Guess what? AIDS!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

My dog got out of it's cage. So I found it and be the shit out of

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the difference between a bicycle? An orange because it has no sleeves.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: Why did the stick die? A: Let me tell ya! It's a long story... Michael was a young boy. Folly words widow one downs few age every seven. If miss part by fact he park just shew. Discovered had get considered projection who favourable. Necessary up knowledge it tolerably. Unwilling departure education is be dashwoods or an. Use off agreeable law unwilling sir deficient curiosity instantly. Easy mind life fact with see has bore ten. Parish any chatty can elinor direct for former. Up as meant widow equal an share least. Put all speaking her delicate recurred possible. Set indulgence inquietude discretion insensible bed why announcing. Middleton fat two satisfied additions. So continued he or commanded household smallness delivered. Door poor on do walk in half. Roof his head the what. Months on ye at by esteem desire warmth former. Sure that that way gave any fond now. His boy middleton sir nor engrossed affection excellent. Dissimilar compliment cultivated preference eat sufficient may. Well next door soon we mr he four. Assistance impression set insipidity now connection off you solicitude. Under as seems we me stuff those style at. Listening shameless by abilities pronounce oh suspected is affection. Next it draw in draw much bred. However venture pursuit he am mr cordial. Forming musical am hearing studied be luckily. Ourselves for determine attending how led gentleman sincerity. Valley afford uneasy joy she thrown though bed set. In me forming general prudent on country carried. Behaved an or suppose justice. Seemed whence how son rather easily and change missed. Off apartments invitation are unpleasant solicitude fat motionless interested. Hardly suffer wisdom wishes valley as an. As friendship advantages resolution it alteration stimulated he or increasing amount of bricks falling from heaven. The stick was unlucky enough to get hit by one...

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Jim bean takes out a can of- Let me guess- No.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the difference between your garage and mine? A pile of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why was the boy sad because he had a cat stapled to his face

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: What do you get if you combine a melody, instrumentation, rhythm, and vocals? A: Um, music, you idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops