roses are red, violets are blue, i have Alzheimer's, CHEESE ON TOAST

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Why did the man get ran over by th STREET? Because he crossed the TURTLE!

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What's brown, smells like shit, and are annoying as hell? Taking shits

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What happens, when you give a blonde a Computer? She uses it like any other person because her haircolor has nothing to do with her Intelligence

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what did the white guy say to the black guy at the homeless shelter? Hi.

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Whats worse than getting a parking ticket? The Bubonic Plague

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What happened after jimmy cheated on a test. Jimmy went home.

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Yo momma's so ugly. Most people do not enjoy looking at her

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69.

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What is worse than getting stung by a wasp? Getting raped by a sexually frustrated bear.

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52 Prostitutes in a bar. Challenge Accepted.

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What do you call a flying Jew? Smoke

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Q: How do you stop a hijacked plane? A: The plane can't be hijacked because the pilots cabin is not accessable until the plane lands.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car!

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A Jew, an atheist, and an Asian man walk into a bar. They all have a drink and then go home to their families

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There is a 5 second long and extremely depressing video, most cant watch it for any longer than 6 seconds

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a 10 year old walks into a bar and orders a beer, he is then escorted out because you are not aloud to be under 21 years old to be in a bar

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartenders asks "Why the long face?"

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OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruisin' about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, she is rolling around on the street laughing hysterically. He asks her, "Why are you laughing? I just beat the crap out of your car!!" She is laughing too hard to respond, but between giggles he can make out, "While you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle."

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he died.

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Whats funnier then a dead baby a dead baby dressed as a clown

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Why did the chicken taunt the opposing team? To get to the other side.

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why did the black man die? the man bled out, and doctors did everything they could.

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So yesterday I went to find a pair of camo pants, And I did

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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