Mac, or Big Jim, as his friends call him, follows the same routine that he has every day for the last several years. His days are always typical and very rarely differ or have any excitement thrown in the mix. It usually starts off by him waking up next to his wife, whom was always giving off a potent and delightful smell. This happens because she has a certain shampoo that makes her much more pleasant-smelling than the normal person, especially as she sleeps. So Big Jim then takes his pillow and throws it at her head. She usually wakes up thinking that he is trying to be a nuisance because of that, even though what follows next has happened every single time for the last few years. He continues to lightly hit her with the pillow until she, in a delightful flurry of feathers, begins to strike back. After a fun and good-looking pillow fight, he then proceeds to the bathroom to urinate and then wash his hands. After this, he then brushes his teeth and gets dressed. He goes to work and is encouraged by his boss every day for his astonishing effort and is then threatened to be promoted if it improves any more by the end of the month. He is always being encouraged by his boss because he does as much as he can do at the Woman's Abuse Shelter. He cares. But, at the end of the month he is never promoted because he threatens to take his boss's daughter out for ice cream - of whom he has fresh photos of her most recent farting accident as proof of his promise. His boss found this quite creepy and inappropriate. Normally, someone would go to the police, especially when there is photographic evidence, but the police chief is too busy to join them for ice cream and the only detective in their small town moved away four months ago. This caused a problem because the ice cream was never disposed of since the only ice cream man died one day prior due to old age. He was 79 at the time and well-loved by the community. After work, Big Jim then went home and his wife hugged him with delight. After dinner with his wife, Big Jim went to bed and had a good night's sleep.

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antonio is ssooo shexy and smokes

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A chicken , a dog and a horse walked into a bar. There were going to the vets but were confused.

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when i jump on a trampoline.

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Why did the math student refuse to do his geometry homework? Straight lines do not exist, so there is no real world application to any geometric shape.

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A skeleton walks into a bar. He orders a beer and a mop.

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Whats more fun than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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roses are red violets are blue ill keep u in my heart forever and ower baby to

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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An Aisian failed a test

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Whats worse than a son killing his own father? His biological father finds him, 10 years later.

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Nothing exceedingly odd happened at a bar

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Why did the Jew post a free link on his Facebook wall? Because it is funny and he hoped his friends would like it.

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What is an offensive term to refer to black people who lived in the time of the Flintstones? n*ggers

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Why was Timmy strong? Because his dad injected steroids through his asshole.

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Why did the family at dinner not tip the waiter? He was mean and spat in their food.

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What can a pizza do that a Jew can't? Pizzas can't do anything, so the answers are infinite.

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What did the alchoholic get for his birthday? Nothing. His alchohol abuse split up is family and now he is alone.

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why did the clown stop laughing? because it got hit by an axe

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. You honstly thought i would cry over you? Well guess what player, You just got played too!

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Yo mama so fat She could die any day.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A large Albanian man jizzing on the pile.

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Kindness is like peeing in your pants, Everyone can see the results, but only You can feel the warmth

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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