Why shouldn't I go out today? Well I haven't done any work today. Actually no. It's not that. I'd have to ask my guardian Sally to bring out the wheelchair, and well, I'm afraid of her. She beats me. My hobbies are playing football, watching Loose Women and looking at pictures of Gary Barlow on Google Images.

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roses are red violets are blue grass is green

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I knew a little girl once. She was ate before she was seven.

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Why did Oliver fall? He shot himself.

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A:how many notzies dose it change a light bulb B:none they made the jewish do it. :(

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Yo mama is so so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

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How can you tell if someones gay? You ask them.

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Andrew's a bald wankstain.

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Yo mama so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops. tom halls mum

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why do black guys have ashy elbows? Because of 9/11

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Want to hear the World's shortest joke? Peace. [L]

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the two blondes decide to ride in one car? Because it's more environmentally friendly than taking two cars.

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How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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In soviet russia, roses are violet

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What has a beard and bombed the World Trade Center? Osama Bin Ladin. No, but seriously he's a terrorist.

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A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

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black chicken. kfc

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A: Ask me if I am an Orange. B: "Are you an Orange?" A: No.

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If you call Dani a dog one more time, lick a gooch nut suckers. XoXo Jamie <3

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What is the hardest thing about eating a vegetable? the wheelchair

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What's brown and furry on the outside, soft moist and tastes good on the inside, begins with "C" and ends with "T", and has a "U" and an "N" in it? A coconut.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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