Q. When you drink two 5 hour energies, do you get 10 hours of energy or double the energy for 5 hours? A. You die

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Depends how you look at it, I like some girl, she and that girl gets along, I get along with the two girls, and yeah, I make them fight to the death as I consume the weakest one and make the new one my wife of darkness! Well, actually, threesomes, but NEVAH, NEVAR!! *shakes fist towards the skies* with another man! Now if my waifu wants to have some fun with a girl, I say why not (and then she asks if I want to join always so far), its genetics, you know, each caveman had like 600 wivus and he did not have time to bang them all, now let those genes go trough MAN for a couple of millenia, and he becomes the KING OF DEMONS... ME! Those other scumbags are a whole other story. Oh, and the 600 wivus did either go without sexytime, or you know... I mean you do KNOW that women are like comfortable naked together and yeah...

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What did the blind man say to the bartender? Nothing, I forgot to mention he's also mute and has no legs.

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Why did the black man run when he heard police sirens? Because he was parked in a handicap spot

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Why was the blond stupid? She wasnt, its just that everyone loves stereotypes

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Q: What's black, blue, and dead? A: My wife after our fight last night.

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Joke

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Wow! I've seen this joke before!

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Q:why did the lion eat the zebra? A: because it was hungry.

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What did the frog say to the goat? Nothing frogs can't talk.

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Sixty... eight

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What building has the most stories? The Burj Khalifa.

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what did the paraplegic man get for Christmas? a unicycle

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Your mother is so morbidly obese that she greatly exceeds the necessary recommended serving sizes of each meal.

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Q. Why is the road black? A. One hundred million dollars!

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles

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HITLER IS SO SEXY I WOULD PAY A MILLION DOLLARS TO HAVE SEX WITH HIS DEAD HOT BODY WHENEVER I THINK ABOUT HIM I SPRAY MY SEMEN ALL OVER MY JEWISH SLAVES YUMMY HITLER JUST MAKES ME WANT TO BITE HIS ROTTING PENIS OFF AND FORCE IT IN THE EYE SOCKET OF A JEWISH PERSON AND THEN I CUM IN HIS EYESOCKET

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Yo momma so fat she weighs 400 pounds.

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There are only three kinds of math teachers: teachers that can count and teachers that can't count

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what's 2 + 2 ? 4, unless you add it up wrong.

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Where there is a will, there is generally a grieving family... I miss you, dad.

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I have a gay camel

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Hi what I lug you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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