Why do gay people go to the beach on memorial? idk im not gay

thumb_up thumb_down -2

5 Italian guys from Long Island

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happened to the blond that went to collage? She got her masters degree and became a brain surgeon.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock. What's up? Oh, nothing much, you? Yeah, you know, same old, same old. Cool.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: Whats the difference between a table and a Mexican? A: You tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What can hitler cook well Steak

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two fish are swimming and hit a concrete wall...dam

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: If your riding down the Nile on a boat and your boat springs a leak, how many boxes of pancake mix does it take to fix the hole? A: 58, because Koalas are marsupials

thumb_up thumb_down -2

BOB: Hey look its spiderman Spiderman: IT'S MANSPIDER!!! Punch! Kick! Ouch!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's black and gets in trouble a lot? A dog with black fur that has not been well trained.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Henry's mom packed Henry sweaters And lots of things besides sweaters Henry went to war He saw lots of gore Logically, he wouldn't need a sweater because he had to wear his uniform during the battle. Did i mention that Henry likes chocolate?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A wife asks her husband if he can fix the sink and he responds with Do I have plumber written on my forehead. Then she asks him if he can fix the porch and he responds with Do I have contractor written on my forehead. So the husband goes on vacation and comes back to find the sink and porch fixed and he asks his wife how it is fixed and she says that the new neighbor helped. So she says the neighbor said he would only do it for cake or sex. The husband respond by saying Which one did you choose. His wife responds by saying Do I have Betty Crocker written on my forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither Has He.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

rofl lol, the joke below me has made my computer offer to translate this page. It thinks it's in Spanish

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two monkeys are sittin in a bathtub. The first monkey says to The second, "HEY! pass the soap." The second says to the The first monkey, "DUDE. thats not soap, its a typewriter!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's one very bad way to injure yourself? Smashing your head against a metal surface

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happens when you cross a kangaroo and an elephant? Absolutely nothing. The two belong to entirely different animal families and their reproductive abilities are totally incompatible. A kangaroo could never fertilize an elephant, or vice versa. To suggest anything else is unrealistic and a physical impossibility.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Because they're dead, they cant screw in a light bulb. Even if they were alive, it would be highly improbable that a baby could screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A pirate walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "why do you have a wheel in your pants?"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Halt! Who goes there?! It is I, Prince Ali Ba Ba of Yo mamas house. To what do I owe this pleasure of your kindness? I come to you with gifts, relics, and spices. All these can be yours if the price is right. Surely there must be a mistake here. How do you go about by and by without a horse? Are you who you say you are? English mothafucka do you speak it?!!! What is this mothafucka do you speak of? Say what again, I dare you! I double dare you mothafucka say what one more goddddam time. Oh wait stop, hammer time...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone? She got hit by a bus Why was Billy laughing? He was driving the bus Why did Bobby drop his ice cream? Billy put the bus in reverse Why was Johnny crying? Sally and Bobby stole the money from his bank account and now he is poor and homeless

thumb_up thumb_down -4

An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the father say to his son? I'm leaving and I'm not actually your father.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops