Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: His name.

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84.52% of users disapprove of your post, plus or minus 3%.

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A mormon walked into a bar and realised it was a bar the he leaves

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Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

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THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME

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What's better than a $75 000 salary? 80 000 sticks of celery.

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If I have 7 oranges in one hand and 8 oranges in the other, what do I have? Big hands!

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1)Did you hear about the sick juggler? 2)No... 1) He just couldn't stop throwing up!!!! 2)Oh no!! Is he ok?? 1)He's dead. 2)HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA c&h

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Knock knock! Who's there? A Doorbell salesman.

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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Why did the duck cross road? It didn't, it got ran over.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being the worm.

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What did the dead guy say to the other guy? "You murdered me." How did he hear the dead guy? He was dead too.

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Katniss: Don't worry Prim, your not getting picked for the reaping this year! Effie: First Tribute, Primrose Everden! Katniss: Oh sh*t.

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How do you not get disappointed at the ending for "Mass Effect 3"? Don't play the game, dumbass.

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what do you call a room with no people in it? empty What do you call a room with over 9000 people in it? a fire hazard

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What do you call a lepucaun leaping in a feild of flowers, on christmas? Ground beef.

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Me- hey hitler you lost soemthing. hitler- Vat? Me-world war two.

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what leaves a bigger memory than a passionate kiss? A STAB WOUND!

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What does the rubbish do when it is depressed? It breaks down.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Chinese. What? Knock Knock.

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What did the mexican do after he finished his taco? He was eaten by a dinosaur.

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Roses are red. Violets are violet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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