- Anti Joke

Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's been bound and gagged by kidnappers who are holding her for ransom.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Holy guacamole Pineapples

what did the dog say to the muppet? WOOF

Why didn't the boy get what he wanted for christmas? His parents had killed him.

Haikus are easy But they don't always make sense. Refrigerator.

What killed the dinosaurs? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!!

Q: What did the black man do at KFC? A: nothing, he ate dinner at home.

Blonde: what does IDK stand for? Brunette: it stands for I Don't Know Blonde: okay, I get it now

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs falling skydiving? Jon, because that's his name.

A man walks into a bar, sits down and talks to the woman sitting next to him. The woman took out a cigarette, and offered one to the man. The man said yes, even though he never smoked before, because he was trying to get with the woman. They smoked a few more before the woman left, and the man left shortly after. The man became a chain smoker and died 1 year later from lung cancer caused by smoking multiple packs a day.

216-409-7176 Call me.

What's brown and sticky? A stick

What's been hit millions of times? A woman married to an abusive husband.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stapled to a deer

Whats more sad then four black men in a car driving off a cliff? The man they stolen the car from doesn't have car insurance.

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

Q. Knock Knock A. Whose there? Q. how am i supposed to know why don't you answer it and find out you dumb ass! gosh.... people and their common sense these days!!

Why does Amy leave Dan? Dan gets hit by a bus.

Why did jimmy cross the road? Because that was the direction the cannon was pointing.

What happened when Chuck Norris jumped into the pool? He then got water on him, and later had to dry off.

A mercenary was sent from the US to kill a terrorist leader. He was captured by the terrorists but wouldn't give away any information. They beat him, shocked him, cut him, and punched him in a dark room with a light beaming right down on him like a spotlight. It was a grueling five long days until they said "We know you have the information we want, tell us or you will die!" The mercenary sat in silence. They took out a gun and pointed it to his head. The mercenary then broke down and told the terrorists the information they wanted to hear. The terrorists then shot him to death.

a sabertooth walks into a club. the caveman set his trap perfectly.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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