What did the rock say to the other rock? Nothing they're rocks? What did the tree say to the other tree? Nothing they're both trees? What did the pillow say to the other pillow? Nothing they're both pillows? What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow.

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Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Well, he was dangerously fatigued from having weeped passionately the entire night in the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of 20 years and consequently finding out that his only daughter was in a tragic school bus accident.

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Why did the monkey ride a bike? Because he was taken from his natural environment, abused for years and forced to ride a bike.

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What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? I don't know. I cant think f anything big and white that fall from trees that can kill you and besides if it is big enough to kill you then you will likely see it and avoid the section of that tree lest the big white object should fall and kill you because of this it is likely that anything that is big and white and falls from trees will in result kill you.

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A horse walked into a bar, the bartender asked "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, as it was a horse and did not speak English nor understand what the man had said, the horse then stumbled around the bar for a while, confused, before finding the exit and leaving.

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When life gives you lemons. Don't take things from strangers

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what did batman say to robin to tell him to get in the car? get in.

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Why didn't grandma ever return Johnathon's calls? Grandma was brutally murdered 2 years prior. Johnathon had issues believing that she was gone. He went on to live a life of pain and suffering, which would eventually lead to suicide at the age of 24.

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How did the girl get rid of a fever? She took medicine.

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Why do people on here submit anti-jokes involving children getting raped or killed? Because the people on this website are sadists. =/

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your mummas so ugley that it looks like it court fire and your family put it out with forkes

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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Roses are red. Waffles are blue. Blue Waffle.

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Why did the baby fall out of the trees? Cause it was dead.

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Your Mum Is So Dumb, It Took Her 2 Hours To Watch 60 Minutes.

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What is worse than getting raped? Getting raped twice.

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What happened after September 11, 2001? September 12, 2001

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Well that explains a lot, thank you.

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

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A horse walks into a bar, prompting the show-jumping judges to subtract points for failing to clear the obstacle.

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What happened while Thomas crossed the street? He got hit by a truck. What happened to Billy? He was Thomas's Siamese twin, and he too met the same fate.

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!

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How can you make a little boy tell the truth? Threaten to murder his family.

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A deranged serial killer walks into a bar. No one leaves because he looks like a normal guy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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