What does a shortstop do when the ball is by third base? He leaves the field to go to the hospital, his little sister just had a heart attack.

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A drunk guy walks out of an AA meeting.

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knock knock who's there the german police now pack your stuff and get out

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Hello we are from the church of the latter day saints.

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Why does people with tourettes curse so much? Fuck should I know?

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What's long and black? A 12 inch black dick.

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What's worse than someone posting a number on antijoke ? Someone posting about what's worse than the holocaust

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autsim

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That day where Captain America becomes too weak and frail to hold his own shield.

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Hellen Keller walks into a bar. And a tree. And a lamp.

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What do you call a paralyzed man on a fishing boat? Robert

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Facebook How i met my mother

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Q: What did the teacher say at the end of recess. A: "Recess is over."

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why did the asian man get straight A's? because he worked hard and studied everyday

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What did the rock say to the other rock? Nothing they're rocks? What did the tree say to the other tree? Nothing they're both trees? What did the pillow say to the other pillow? Nothing they're both pillows? What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow.

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There is a blonde, a redhead, and a brunnette stuck on a deserted island. the redhead gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk the 100 miles back to shore. she begins swimming, gets 10 miles out, gets tired, and drowns. the brunnette gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk it too. she gets 50 miles, gets tired, and drowns. The blonde decides to escape as well. she is able to swim 98 miles, gets tired, and swims back.

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Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Well, he was dangerously fatigued from having weeped passionately the entire night in the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of 20 years and consequently finding out that his only daughter was in a tragic school bus accident.

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Why did the monkey ride a bike? Because he was taken from his natural environment, abused for years and forced to ride a bike.

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i am not a pothead!!! the only time ive evr been high was springbreak last year!!! mm hmm... wat were u doin over spring break to get high? i had jaw surgery and the doctor had me on tons of painkillers

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what is white on top and black on the bottom? society... ha ha

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honest politician

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How do you keep your dog from running away? Put it on a leash.

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What's black and has the texture of tar? Molasses

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Q. want to hear a really funny joke? A. Fred Figglie-horn

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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