Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

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What's the same between grapes and squirrels? They're both purple, except for the squirrel.

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My period is red, Your sauce is white, now pull down your pants and let me do my workout.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? A basketball.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

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What did the horse say to the cow? Nothing because animals cannot speak.

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Darude- Sandstorm

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1: What do you call your car door when it's opened slightly? 2: I don't know. What? 1: Ajar! 2: A jar? 1: No. Ajar. 2: But it's a door. 1: Just forget it.

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Why did the racecar driver lose his driver's license? He crashed into an orphanage.

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Your mom is so fat, she suffers from heart disease, high blood pressure, and type 2 diabetes.

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Wat do u call black circus clwon a bad comedian

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Two kids walk into a bar and get arrested for underage drinking.

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why did the chicken cross the bread? because chicken salad

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Two members of the KKK walk into the bar into a bar. The bartender asks, "what do you think of Obama?" One of the KKK members says "he is my President, I respect him."

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my grandpa told me "dont let fear rule your life" 2 hours later he got hit by a train.

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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Two men were walking down the road when one of them spotted an old lamp lying in a ditch. After examining the lamp's handiwork for several seconds one man rubbed the lamp with his shirt sleeve. The men then continued down the road.

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

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Why do alcoholics use brown bags? Because they are ashamed of what they have become and seek to repress their guilt by entering into denial.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, WHO THE HELL $#!T IN MY GARDEN?!

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Why don't you see elephants find in trees? Because most trees can't hold an elephants weight.

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What is worse than stubbing your toe. Being shot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops