what is the most efficient way to scratch your balls? hire a leprechaun slave.

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Why did the car get sucked up by the tornado? Because it was in Pilger, Nebraska.

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My asian freind died recently... But on another note why did the chicken cross the road.Crosing the road is a metaphor for killing yourself and the chicken is my asian freind.

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How do you make a kid with ADHD stay still? Shoot him in the knee cap

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What did the black man say while getting mauled by a jungle cat? "Help im dying", as the animal riped him peice by peice with fear in his eyes he died slowly as the jungle cat draged him back to its den helplessly he fades away and the animal eats him.

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Why did the priest take a little boy into the back room? To talk about the boy's future.

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*knock, knock* "Who's there?" *knock, knock* "Who's there?" This went on for hours, as man 1 was deaf, and man 2 was blind.

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What happened when the dog was was let out to chase the rabbit? It caught the rabbit and killed it.

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So a man walks into a bar. Well, he trips over it because it was very low to the ground and he didn't see it.

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If an aeroplane falls from 15,000 feet in the air and crashes into and orphanage is it possible that no-one will get hurt? No,the aeroplane will destroy the orphange hurting the property value.

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whant to hear my best inpression of a hijacking ok kjgnkdgsjikdfhjnknkdfngknhfkfbnkf

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Last week, one of my ex girlfriends called me. She said she had to tell me some bad news. "I don't know how to tell you this but I have AIDS. I really didn't know how to reply to that so I said the only thing I could say. "Yeah, I know."

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Why is Sophie incapable of Lifeguarding correctly? Because she only has limited use of all of her senses , especially hearing,

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no im only tryin to keep it real like a broken peice of cheese.

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Whats funnier then two babies falling off a cliff? 2 babies falling off a cliff

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Knock knock Who's there? Banana? Knock knock Who's there? Banana Knock knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you glad you don't have cancer?

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I see said the blind man, to his deaf wife, as the cripple ran by.

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What did the taxi driver say to the chicken when the chicken called a cab? "aren't you supposed to be crossing a road somewhere?" Little did the taxi driver know that the chickens license was taken away for multiple DUIs because when his wife left him he became an alcoholic mess, lost his job and became depressed. But when he called the taxi, he was on his way to a job interview. Since he never made it to his job interview he soon went broke and lost his home. Having hit rock bottom, the chicken unawarely started to cross a busy road and was ran over by that same taxi driver.

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A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to its dying chicks who were just run over.

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Lil Wayne

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Who smells like urine and his da is a registered sex offender with madeline mccann in his house? Aodhan hearty, May I also include he looks like a bug. Oh and don't forget the rot on his teeth, it is fucking disgusting. It really looks like he hasn't brushed his teeth in quite a substantial period of time, in my opinion, he is the only person who is actually comparible to sean.

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Q: what happened to the man who dropped the soap? A: nothing, he casually bent over and picked it up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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