Q: What happened when lost John lost his crack cocaine? A: He bought some weed.

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A man walks into a bar and says "ow"; he stepped on a nail sticking up through one of the floorboards. He then sues the bartender for a large sum of money because of the injury he sustained, and causes the bartender to lose everything he owns in order to pay off his debt.

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just a man and his thoughts....and a smart phone app, and a loving family, thats not the point.

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whats bloop with an m? matthew

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Why doesn't Stephen Hawking play football? Because he's a nerd.

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What did the hitler youth kid get for Christmas? An easy bake oven and a G.I. Jew.

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once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen. Its was her funeral

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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what is the difference between two trees? it doesn't matter because motorcycles don't have doors

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Why don't Catholics allow people to wear condoms? Because they get stuck in the alter boys braces.

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Q: How many hair styles do celebreties induce annualy? A: I have no clue but I'm pretty sure that's a midget defacing your house!

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-knock knock -i'm not at home, go away!

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A rabbi walks into a bar mitzwa.

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You cant spell chorus with out... Vagina!

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What's worse than being fat? Being gay

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why don't you ask the chicken. I am sorry but I as a human being am totally incapable of understanding and communicating with chickens.

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Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses all walk into a bar. They sit down at a table and glare at each other before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

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This joke is funny

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Q.what has big ears? A.your vagina.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? I lost my tractor!

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What did the mother say to her son? Nothing, she was dead.

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Q: what is an anti-joke? A: Coffee Volvos

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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