How do you get a cat out of a tree? You throw a rock at it

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Fish.

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What did the little boy ask for for Christmas? A new brain, as he has a malignant tumor, he died.

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why did the panda and puppy get into a fight? how should i know, you tell me.

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The Game.

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Why did the loser end up in hospital? Because he was smoking glue.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie...

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You just wasted time of your life reading this, and perhaps even more wasted time thumbing this down.

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Why was the black man tired? It was 3 AM, and he just came back from his demanding job as a surgeon.

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one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only A n a l because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

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Roses are Red, Violets are Violet, Not Blue, Kill yourself.

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What is funnier than one dead baby? Two dead Babies

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what's 6 inches long and women love? my penis

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why couldn't the blind man hear? because he was also deaf.

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What do you call a man who has lost both his legs, one arm, and half his eye? Larry

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why did the chicken cross the road? there was chicken food on the other side

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what do you call a prostitute with white eyes? emma , with the cloudy iris,

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*prepares this to get negative votes*

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So 2 apples are having sex, and one apple sais to the other, I got worms.

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Nuneaton..

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why was the man sad? his wife died

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When life gives you lemons, you go to a therapist and seek help because your dementia has progressed to the point that you are seeing and feeling illusions.

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YO FACE

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What do you get when you cross an African, a white person, an Asian and a Spaniard? Society's worst nightmare

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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