Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

What did Helen Keller name her children? Nothing, since she didn't have any.

Q: What's wrong with being gay A: Nothing is wrong with anybody because we're all human

How many tortoises does it take to change a light bulb? One. Just don't expect it to be done quick.

What's worse then a missed call from your dad? A missed call from your mom.

Q:What's the difference between a Boy scout and a Jew? A:Boy scouts come back from camp.

I did your mom-A FAVOR-by making you-A SANDWICH-my favorite part was when she stripped-THE LETTUCE-then i touched her boob-OO-then we fucked

Knock! Knock! Who's There? The Police. Open the damn door. Nobody Is Home.

what happend when the little boy went on the rollercoaster ? It crashed.

roses are red violet are blue what are you gonna do when chuck norris find you

Can we still mine for gold in the American River? No, anyone seen mining for gold is considered a hobo and all the gold is cleared out by random people in the 17 century

what did the boy who liked trucks get for his birthday? POOP

ALCATRAZ IS REOPENED!

Why didn't the man say, "Hello, Morgan Freeman!" when his friend walked by? Because his friend wasn't Morgan Freeman.

cerleb i wrote the one about melons!

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why'd he fall off again? Because we put him back on.

U know whats worser than having a worm in your apple... Having 1352 dislikes on your anti-joke...

What did the Mexican shoe salesman say to the man? Excuse me, do you whih way to main street?

Why did the girl fall off her bike? I threw a ball at her.

Why couldn't the pirate watch the violent movie? Because pirates died along time ago

What's got eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs head.

Womens rights

What do you call a child with a peg leg, and eye patch, and no hand? Names

What do you call people in a plane crash? Whatever, i wasn't on the plane.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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