What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

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How to condom style ayyyyyy sexy horsey how how how how how to condom style

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What is a mean thing to say to Stephen Hawking? Please take a seat.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Stab her.

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This one time at band camp music was played.

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89 bottles of beer on the wall, 89 bottles of beer, if one alcoholic passes the wall, 0 bottles of beer on the wall!

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How to you get a clown off a swing? You shoot it in the face.

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number, so she rolled up her sleve

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What do you call a lazy good-for-nothing who can't succed at anything, steals your money, and who is unskilled in every way? A women

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How many Muslims does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The ten year old in my trunk

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What's funnier than a dead baby? An episode of 'Friends'.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

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What do you call a dead man in a ditch? Phil.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Two drums and a sybol fall off the edge of a cliff. They hit a random pedestrian at the bottom killing him instantly. da-dum ch

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What happened to the man who lost his job? He couldn't support his family so they all became homeless and eventually died of starvation.

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A women walks into a bar which is means she is pretty rich to be able to have a bar in her kitchen

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What happens when two black people go into a store with masks on? They buy candy for Trick-or-Treating

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What do you call a dead black person? A corpse.

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What's green and invisible? Nothing; green and all other colours of the rainbow have wavelengths that occur specifically in the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum. Therefore any invisible object cannot be green.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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Betty wanted to see time fly so she threw her alarm clock out the window. Shortly after, her mother grounded her as it was quite expensive and she had become less punctual without it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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