Who didn't allow the gorilla into the ballet studio? Whoever was in charge.

Why was the guy coverd in garbage. I don't know but their are a lot of homeless people that can't afford the good stuff.

Ya Mums so fat when she stood on the scales it came up with my phone number

My mother has chlamydia. That's it.

what do you order when it's a sunday in nyc during a solar eclipse on a leap year past 12:00 pm? what ever you like

Ben has 3 apples and Charlie has 2 apples, how many carrots can fit in my anus? Banana, because cows have 4 legs

What really killed Adolf Hitler? The gas bill

How many Lepers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? People with leprosy should not be doing general house keeping.

Why don't women have breasts? Because they have dandruff. Get it? Hint: "dandruff" = "dan druff"

Steven Hawking walks into a bar

(A man in a dark van pulls up)... Hey kids can you come help me find my puppy? The kids get in the car and they find the puppy in a near by park. The kids are then safely returned home.

What did little Susie give to young Billy on Christmas? Genital Herpes.

So a seal walks into a club.

How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that evolution had created. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!", he said to himself. As he was walking along the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. When he turned to see what the cause was, he saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charging right towards him. He ran as fast as he could. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing, He ran even faster, crying in fear. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. His heart was pounding and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up, but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him. At that moment, the Atheist cried out "Oh my God!...." Then the Atheist died a violent and terrible death.

Knock Knock : F*ck im watching porn...

The latter three thousand pages of this website.

The Duck walks up to the lemonade stand and says to the man running the stand...Hey bum bum bum....How much is the lemonade

if ruddell was gay what would he be? a gay prick

why does little Lucy have no friends? because she is in a wheelchair

whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizza is not human, Jewish people are.

A black man, hispanic man, and white man walk in to a bar. They are all friends. They enjoy a few beers together then call a taxi to take them home because it is irresponsible to operate a motor vehicle while under the influence of alcohol or other drugs.

Why was the man scared? Because he was being attacked by a giant tiger.

Two fish are in a tank. One asks the other, "How do you drive this thing?"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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