How do you make a baby stop crying? You slit it's throat.

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Kevin: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Bob: Because it's extinct? Kevin: No you idiot! The P is silent! Pterodactyl: RAARRGHH! (eats Bob)

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So Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station....

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A man walks into a vagina. The man, expecting a holiday inn, is very confused, and later gets mauled by five bears, who mistook his scent for a fish.

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Whats worse then any minority? The fact they still exist.

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what did the cashier do when a Mexican robbed the store? call the police

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Why did Santa's little helper feel depressed? Neurotransmitters essential for happiness, such as serotonin and norepinephrine, were in rather low supply in the poor elf's brain.

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What do you call a black man with a gun? A cop

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What's worse than having a zit on your face? Getting blue waffle.. google if you don't know what blue waffle is..

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A miserable man committed suicide.

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Why was Jimi's mom sad? Because Jimi suddenly fell to the floor clenching his neck while saying "I'm Dying!"

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The president is invited to a party at Bill's house. Suddenly the house catches on fire. Who survived? No one, they all died.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Why did the monkey cross the road? It didn't. It died!

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What happens when you run out of butter You ask antonio

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Your mother is so ugly that I removed her from my friends list on Facebook.

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Did you hear about the guy that lost the whole left side of his body? Well, he's all right.

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why cant ben cry, because i gorged his eyes out with a popsickle stick.....

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

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What do you get when you cross a Zebra with a Sheep? Hounded by a religious group for playing God.

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why did Helen Keller cross the road? she didn't, she wasn't able to find it

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What did the children say when the magician pulled a rabbit out of his hat? Nothing, but the parents called Animal Control, and the magician was imprisoned after a dog-fighting ring was discovered in Michael Vick's estate.

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what do you call a tall skiny kid with a very big ego autistic

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What do you call a black person that plays golf? Jack, his name is Jack.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops