What does Santa and a grape have in common? They're both purple, except Santa.

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Why did the man cry when he received his meal at McDonalds? They didn't give him a happy meal.

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A blonde rubs a lamp hoping to find a genie that will grant her 3 wishes. It didn't happen.

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I went to the opticians to get my eyes checked. The optician said "you need glasses".

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What do you call a man who's arms have been amputated? It doesn't matter, he won't be able to pick up the phone.

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A Priest, A Rabbi, and an Imam walk into a bar. They promptly sit down and have a friendly theological discussion.

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Why couldnt the woman wear her new necklace? She was decapitated

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? (Other): "Because the P is silent." Because they're extinct.

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the WNBA

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What did the oboe say to the trombone? SQUEEEEEEK

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What is a bull like in a China Shop? Calm, because generally any bull you would find in a China shop is probably made out of porcelain.

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why did the boy get hit by a bus because he dropped his ice cream

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ACT 2 CHAPTER 4 GEARS OF WAR 3 TICKER EASTER EGG.... MICHAEL VICKS HOUSE

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What is it too late to do? Apologize...

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if life throws you lemons you must be dyslexic

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What did the politician say to the bank robber? "Were both robbers"

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Q. How do you make time fly? A. It is highly impossible to make time fly for there is 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, and 60 seconds in a minute so therefore the time flows how it should and we do not have such power to do it even though many people claim they do when they know they really don't

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Which way do 4 gay guys walk South then past the milkbar then around the corner

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Once upon a time there was a cowboy. He died. The end.

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A Blonde walks into a bar. She is in an abusive relationship and drinking her pain away.

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one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

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Why was timmy no longer being bullied at school? The rope said it all! Bitch Died HA

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whats funny about female tennage life? SELF HARM OOOOO YEAHHHH

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why did the kid cross the road he didnt he had no legs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops