How do you get a Blonde to brake her nosebone? You put your dick under a glastable! QQ

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Knock knock. Who's there? Quetzalcoatl. Quetzalcoatl who? Quetzalcóatl, Mayan name Kukulcán, (from Nahuatl quetzalli, “tail feather of the quetzal bird [Pharomachrus mocinno],” and coatl, “snake”), the Feathered Serpent, one of the major deities of the ancient Mexican pantheon. Oh... hi.

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Where's my tractor?

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What is the name of Steven Hawkins condom.... Anti virus

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how do you get a man with a gun out of your house? you don't.

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why did the man throw a stone in the lake? because he'd had a long day at work.

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what did the women with no arms and legs say to her daughter? go to your room.

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How do you make a black person mad? Set his house on fire.

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Q: Why is Santa's sack so big? A: Because he only cums once a year

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme Others just don't

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can extrapolate from incomplete data

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Roses are red Babies cry Get in my bed Or you will dies

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

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There was porn on the Internet I masturbated to it, but my parents caught me, and I can't ever leave the house again until I'm 18.

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whats super and the champions of europe? Leeds United

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Ask me if I'm a kangaroo Are you a Kangaroo? No….

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What's more fun then spinning a dead baby around on a clothesline at 50 miles an hour? Stopping it with a shovel.

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What's the difference between a duck? One leg is both the same

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Why didnt timmy go to the party Mom said no

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Why the chimp fell off the tree? Because it's dead.

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An irish man walks into a bar. He drinks responsibly, and leaves shortly afterward.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I've often heard that a room with a million monkeys with a million typewriters, given enough time; would eventually reproduce the complete works of Shakespeare. This seems to suggest that if something has an extremely low chance of happening, it will still eventually happen if enough attempts are made. However, I feel that the aforementioned scenario, given enough time to play out, would only result in a room full of dead monkeys. Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know I'm not a mind reader.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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