Your mother is so fat, that she was instructed by her doctor to go on a low carbohydrate, high protein diet to reduce the risk of heart disease later in life.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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when i'm away from home i sometimes get love sick, well they call it chlamydiae.

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Why was the man sad? He was molested as a child.

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"Knock knock" "The doors open" "Oh, okay"

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Have you seen Steve Wonder's house? No. It's okay, neither has he.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The Third ones a duck

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A vast quantity of things.

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404: Anti-joke not found.

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Little Justin's bike has a flat tire has a flat tire. He asks his dad to inflate it. "Sure Justin I can fix that for you." Said his father. But he overinflates the tire, causing the tire to explode and ignite the chemicals. The house burns to the ground, killing Justin and his parents. The fire then spreads and the hole city burns. 50,000 people die.

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What's a black guys favourite thing to eat? Food.

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Stop procrastinating.

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What do you call a kid with an eye-patch and a speech impediment? Names.

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'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' That's fantastic because Peter Piper was paralyzed and the doctors said he would never be able tomove is arms or legs again, and there he is picking a peck of pickled peppers. I applaud you Peter Piper.

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what's gray, red, and goes over a 100 mph? a toad in a blender

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whats wrose than slipping on a banana? Getting Shot in the face.

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what happened when the boy jumped? he landed

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What did the blind kid get for Christmas? Same ones he got last year.

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Why wasn't Johnny at school today? Because he died in childbirth.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Wow, I screwed up, Give me head.

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besides saying "Oh, Yeah" and punching down walls, what does the kool-aid man do? drink cool aid

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Hello we are from the church of the latter day saints.

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knock knock who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill Smith, we went to high school together. Oh hey Bill, come on in.

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whats green and falls from trees, pool tables.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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