- Anti Joke

Girl look at that body, girl look at that body, I got passion in my pants... Actually I lied, I got a penis and testicles in my pants, but I'm afraid to show it because people might think it's small, sorry

How do u make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face

How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

tiger woods played golf against peyton manning and yet tiger still cant win.

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

A plane is falling out of the sky, and there is a Priest, a little boy, Obama and a rock star. There are 4 parachutes and everyone jumps out safety.

I was gonna tell a gay joke Butt fuck it.

What does it mean when you have big shoes? Either you were genetically born with big feet, or you are wearing sheos that are too big for you.

On a scale from 1-10, what is your favorite color of the alphabet?

What's red bubbly and spins around? A baby in a microwave

What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby wearing a clown suit.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why did the man get a tattoo? A: he wanted to express himself.

What do you call a man with a gun? An accident waiting to happen.

Your momma so poor, she has a hard time paying her bills.

What's big and green and would probably kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table.

Horse walks into a bar. 'The barman says 'why the long face?' The horse says 'I've got cancer'.

Why did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Because you touch yourself at night

Q: What's gray and comes in gallons? A: Gray paint.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your Fallopian tubes ripped out by wolverine

DON'T TOUCH MY DUCK, IT HAS A ONE DOLLAR BILL

Do cows get breast cancer or utter cancer?