ask me if im a tree are you a tree? yes.

What do people call the completely paralyzed man with no eyes? David, his name.

Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red OH SH*T MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!!!!!

What's the difference between an ice cream cone and a pile of dead babies? I don't cum on the ice cream before I eat it.

Why could the kid not finish his homework? Because it flew out the window on the way to his parents funeral

Ask this to your friend. "Yo man, I really need your help on this question. Can you tell me color comes after 9?" guaranteed "wtf"

There was a two car pile up at wal-mart. 50 mexicans were killed.

Four black guys have a picnic. One of them pulls out a bag of KFC. Another pulls out some Kool Aid. The third pulls out a watermelon. The fourth pulls out a box of cookies you racist prick

Justin Bieber.

What do you call a person without a heart? Not alive.

Actual jokes are now obsolete.

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

what is blue and fluffy, a blue fluff. what is red and fluffy, a polar bear wiped in red paint. you probably should not have done that because now the polar bear is chasing after you.

Whats the difference between a polish drunkard and a German scholar? They are two different nationalities.

"Hey dude, wanna come with me??" "Sure! Where????" "To the grocery store, I need to buy a couple of lemons"

Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs? A: Disabled.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt, it got stuck at a red light, it waited 5 minutes before getting frustrated and leaving. Later that day the chicken realized that it had forgotten to press the button.

Todd is offered a pizza, chinese food, and a sandwich. he then kills himself because options trigger a psychological disorder that was diagnosed to him as a child

Why did the small 12 year old run away which a chicken. He felt like it and he was carrying bread which the chicken was allergic to.

What did the boy with a crippled arm get for his birthday? A guitar.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

What's Green and invisible? This cabbage --------------------------->>>>>

"Docter, docter, I think I have cancer!" "I don't really care."

what do you call some one with no arms and no legs? names.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...