What did the doctor say to the morbidly obese man? "You should get on a diet. It's a surprise you're even alive for so long with such a bad heart" The next day the man dies while eating celery.

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What's as hard as a rock? A rock

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Once upon a time, there was an ugly duckling. All the other ducklings made fun of the ugly duckling for being so ugly, and the little duckling felt bad. "Why do I have to be such an ugly duckling?," he asked. However one day, the duckling grew up and became........well, an ugly duck. Turns out he was just an ugly duck. The end.

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What happens to a black man when he jumps into a pool of clorox? He turns white!

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. The man leaves in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Why did the boy fall off the zipline? He had no arms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was locked safely in the chicken coop.

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What's black, white, black, white, black, white, and red? A horse with it's heard chopped off.

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A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

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whats worse than 10 babies in a blender 1 baby in 10 blenders

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What's the difference between Al Gore and a slab of formica? Many things, most obvious being that Al Gore is a conscious being.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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A: Knock Knock B: Whos there A: Orange B: Orange who A: Arent you glad i didnt say chair

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Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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What do you call a black man on a swing? Depends on what his name is

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Me Me, who? -You -You? but I thought you were me. - I am you, you're looking in the mirror, asshole. - No, sir i'm sorry you have the wrong house. Asshole doesn't live here.

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why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

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What's the deal with brown?

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Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

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Roses are red, Wait. Why start this poem when you cant finish it Refrigerator

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a duck walks up to a lemonade stand, says to the man running the stand. quack, because he's a duck

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That`s my friends phone, I can call you from mine too if you want, please just don't hurt me, let me speak to you, I promise I will explain everything.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in cirlcles? nail its hand to the floor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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