Your momma's so fat she ate oranges and coffe

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Your momma is so fat, shes skinny.

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Why did Bob stop at the light? Because it was red and not doing so would be illegal.

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Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's brown, sticky and crawls up your leg? A homesick poo.

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So a guy walks into a bar. It hurt really bad. He was pissed, so he went home and took his seal to a club.

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Roses are blu Violets are red Im colored blind

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What was the blind man doing before he was strangled? He was breathing.

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What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

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Two guys went to a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure" said the guys. The bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? (when you are done start reading from the top again, and don't stop ever)

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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Whats the difference between a nigro and a nigro... They are both BLACK!

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How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

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Q: Why did the Unicorn cross the road? A: It didn't Unicorns are fictional creatures.

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What came in like a wrecking ball? A wrecking ball.

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How many Muslims does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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How to you get a clown off a swing? You shoot it in the face.

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89 bottles of beer on the wall, 89 bottles of beer, if one alcoholic passes the wall, 0 bottles of beer on the wall!

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number, so she rolled up her sleve

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What do you call a lazy good-for-nothing who can't succed at anything, steals your money, and who is unskilled in every way? A women

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What is a mean thing to say to Stephen Hawking? Please take a seat.

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This one time at band camp music was played.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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