What did the phone say to the man? Ring ring.

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A rooster lays an egg on top of a henhouse. Which way does the egg fall? Roosters don't lay eggs.

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What did the man do when he found a lost dog in his yard? He shot it. This was a very old, lonely, and distressed man with many unresolved problems resulting from his childhood in poverty.

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Why black people are so good at football? Because they have white feet.

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How do you make a health inspector give you a good report? Throw his family into a pack of alligators.

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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What do you get when lettuce and oranges come together? I dont know, thats why I asked you.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Leaves are green, You should know all this by now...

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what did the homeless man say to the stranger? nothing, he let he let his gun do the talking

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what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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What did the suspicious Hunchback say? I've got a hunch.

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What do you call a teenager who cant add? A Total Failure

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Why did the room go dark? Somebody turned the lights off

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If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong, though. It's Hambone.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a bowling ball? I dont have a bowling ball stapled to my tree

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roses are red violets are blue my dick is long longer then you

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why did the duck swim upside-down -he was on quack

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Theory: Jesus: Father why must I go die in order to defeat sin, is sin not a product of humans? God: SHHH! You want humans to know they are stronger than us? Real life: Later on the cross Jesus: FATHER WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! God: *Thunder* Moral: Makes sense... Kinda? Maybe? A bit? I honestly do not get it :(

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The queen having a shit

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was in the designated crosswalk area and there was no oncoming traffic.

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knock knock whos there johovas witness O-0

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If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Ice cream doesn't have bones!

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1 I've been diagnosed with-- 2 I don't give a f*ck, go die in a hole!

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What is white and re(a)d all over? White paper that is dyed red.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops