This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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whats the difference between and clorox wipe and a paper towel? a clorox wipe is wet.

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At the time my grandfather came round to visit, what was happening in Australia? A giant spider was giving birth.

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Why did John kill Maris? Because Maris killed his family.

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What did the elephant say to the zebra? Nothing, elephants can't talk.

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Husband: Take the f out of way. Wife: There's no f in way! Husband: You just swore

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What do you call a duck who votes democrat? A duck

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Two drums and a sybol fall off the edge of a cliff. They hit a random pedestrian at the bottom killing him instantly. da-dum ch

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You know, people are kind of like trees, they tend to fall over when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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What type of party do you throw when your fat? A baby shower.

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Mommy mommy I don't want to see grandma. Shut up and keep digging.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I need a job Stop spitting on me

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A man walked into a bar. He said ow.

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This guy says: "Doctor doctor, it hurts when I do this!" He jiggles his arm and screames in pain. The doctor replies: "Well, don't do it then!"

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What was in the magical purple teapot? Two dying pelicans.

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Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

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Your momma's so fat: She regrets not making the most of her youth whilst she was still attractive.

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I don't like Holocaust jokes. Anne Frankly they offend me,

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Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

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Q:what happen to amy's baby A:it was eaten by a dingo.

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An Irish man walks into a bar, and then realizes that he's walked into the wrong establishment (He was looking for an upscale restaurant.)

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pull my finger (farts)

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yo mamas so fat she weighs a lot.

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they told me not to write here but i did

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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