The kid wakes up in the middle of the night to get some water. But over hears sounds from his parents room. he looks through the keyhole. Then he comtinues walking and says. "Why does mom say i cant suck things?"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q. How do you make a fruit punch? A. In a punch bowl, mix together fruit punch, pineapple juice and ginger ale. Add scoops of sherbet into the punch. Wait for the sherbet to begin melting, approximately 10 minutes, stir gently, and serve.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

there was a rich kid strolling in the woods.he saw a bear, HE DIED

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Slug on ya tooth Gavin David Newman

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the man eaten by a tiger? Because tigers are carnivores, but why are they carnivores? Because they eat meat.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

weston cage

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats brown and sticky? ..Poo

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did 'Mister Love' get arrested? Clue: One of the most ironic things ever You can guess

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Were do seamen live under the sea? A submarine!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the boy cry? Because his mother died of a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

EVOLUTION OF MODERN SAYINGS 1 The Samurai: If at first you don't succeed, kill yourself. The British: If at first you don't succeed, give up The Americans: If at first you don't succeed, sue someone, then try again in hopes of a larger payout next time

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A dyslexic man walks into a saloon and asks for a hair cut.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A dog walk into a bar, and the bartender asks, "What"ll it be?" The dog then breaks into tears as he realizes the bartender is his father's gay husband.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide, and drives women crazy. A 6 inch long 2 inch diameter syringe filled with heroin being injected into a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you cure aids? Jonathon siezed to care as he proceeded to cry when he was told his lemons were over the weight of what he'd expected

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is the difference between a Mexican and a bike? they both get hit by cars in shady neighborhoods, like Copiague, New York

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did Ian die Because I shot him with a gun

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A recently widowed blond was on her way to an appointment with her attractive physician, when she realized that she was almost out of gas, so she stopped to refuel at a station near his office.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Rape

thumb_up thumb_down -4

cop arrests a jew and interrogates him Jew. i aint telling you nothing cop: really cop pours a bag of coins on the table jew: thats about $7.80 cop: you can have it if you tell us what we want to know jew: ok jew: i stole the money 123

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than the Holocaust? • • • Stubbing your toe.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops