69

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the butcher have blood on his hands? He murdered his daughter.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call two black men screaming as loud as they can? Scared

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was the little boy crying? Well first off he is adopted. He then woke up and found out his pop star dad is dead. ..... His name is blinket.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A horse enter a bar, and the barman says: "why the long face?" The horse has cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are....

thumb_up thumb_down -2

This is on of those few moments where my guts and attitude leave me feeling as if the entire world is against me... ...Then I cant help but to smirk and think... The world against me? Finally a worthy challenge... Such a great day... Nero because fuck morals: Friends and not so friends do not call me Black Metal because I listen to power rock, my mother high on drugs attacked my wife claiming she was Satan, I killed my angel dust empowered mother, felt as if the world was against me... ...Such a great day... "I killed my father too but you dont hear me whining about it!" And of course... ...Rest in pieces oh "dear" mother", at least you did one good thing, you gave birth to your undertaker, while I killed you to end my lifelong misery, My only regret is ending yours... Now I request you all think I am a monster and pretend we live in a world where all parents are nice and good... You already deluded yourself? Perhaps you should thumb me up instead then.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

a horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks why the long face? the horse, incapable of understanding any human dialect, promptly shits on the floor and leaves

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock. Who's there? Interrupting Pessimist. Interrupting Pessi- Slavery.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock knock Who's there? Amy winehouse Amy winehouse who? Amy winehouse died by falling down a flight of stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do you call obama a dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the teenager commit suicide? Because he was constantly being bullied in school, which caused him to be depressed. Days later he found out that his mother had breast cancer and was most likely not going to survive.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

- Mommy look, I built a sandcastle! - Who cares, you have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A bear just broke into my house and im scared…...... Oh wait thats just my 350 pound teacher… now i'm even scareder

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q. What do black people, Asians, and Irishmen call their moms? A. "Mom"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why couldn't the Jeffersons adopt a black baby? Their fireplace was empty.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you kill a diabetic? Take away their insuline

thumb_up thumb_down -2

This joke is the worst joke ever.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's brown and red but looks purple? Mixed paint!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Microwave

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How did Jimmy get hit by the car? He dropped his Ice cream cone.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

If you have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, Chuck Norris now has $10.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops