Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it.

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A Jewish man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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Why are watermelons green? 9, because cows like to eat grass.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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A man walked into a bar. He got a head trauma and committed suicide.

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"Knock knock" "The doors open" "Oh, okay"

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why did jonathan not get any presents for the holiday?because it was the 4th of July

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Q: What did the pony say when it had a sore throat? A: "I have throat cancer and only have six weeks to live."

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walk briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know but some black man is starting up his deep-frier on the other side

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why did the dog eat its breakfast of meat because he was hungry

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I don't mind gays unless they shove it down people's throats.

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What's worse than Jedward? Nothing. They are really and truly awful.

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What did the astronaut say at AA? Alcohol is ruining my life.

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I like it it the butt -Tyler James Nehring call me 863-670-1547

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How do you know when a bag of chips is stale? It is past the expiration date.

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What did catwoman say to batman? meow.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Wristwatch! Wristwatch who? Orange ya glad I didn't say banana

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your mamma so fat... she went to hell.

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why couldn't randy turn on his computer? randy is blind and had mistaken his refrigerator for his computer.

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If two blondes had a kid it would probably be a blonde because two recessive chromosomes have a higher chance of showing than one dominant gene.

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One day a boy asks his teacher what blue velvet is then the teacher says "we don't ask questions like that in my class go to principal's office now"so the boy goes to the principal's office and then the boy asks "what is blue velvet"then the principal says"no one says that in my school get out" so the boy goes home and asks his mom what is blue velvet then his mom says you don't say stuff like that in my house get out!so the boy see's the Mayer. So the boy asks the Mayer what blue velvet is then the Mayer says no one says that in my town get out of my town! So the boy see's a man and the boy goes to the man and the man asks what happend to you and the boy says well I got kicked out of school kicked out of my house and got thrown out of town just because i asked what blue velvet is! So the man tells the boy that there is a lady across the street. So the boy is in the road and then the boy gets ran over and dies. So the lesson here is look both ways before crossing a street

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ring ring,Who is? you'r face.you'r face how?you'r but hole face.

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Why was the dog hairless? I lied, it was a pig.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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