Why is a dog smarter than a human? Because you an asshole if you believe me

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How do you get a cat off a swing? You throw a dog at it.

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P1: why did the chicken cross the road? P2: to get to the other side. P1: Knock! Knock! P2: whos there? P1: THE CHICKEN!

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One cow, determined to make a difference in the world, gets killed in a meat packing plant. We killed him, and we killed his dreams.

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Q: How do you fit two beluga whales into a mini van? A: You don't.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you are reading this Then it must be deja vu

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Why can't february march Because april may

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When is it unlucky to see a black cat? When you are a mouse.

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A bear walks into a bakerey. He aks for a loaf of bread. The bakers asks: "White or brown?" The bear answers: "It doesn't matter, I'm on the motorcycle".

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so a blonde walks into a bank, opens her purse, pulls out her check and cashes it. She then returns to her car and proceeds home.

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Whats red and dirty? Her period

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? I don't eat pizza

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What did the Rasta man say when he got his dread stuckin the toilet ?

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What's worse than watching the Hunger Games? Playing the Hunger Games

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Mike Mike who? Mike who you just called and told to come over Oh ok, come in

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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How did the girl get her Mardi Gras beads? She purchased them at a reasonable price from a party store.

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When Kurt Cobain was little, his mother told him to never play with guns but I guess it went through one ear and out the other.

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An old lady says, "Oh i see now." The guy standing next to her says, " Honey oyu know im blind right?"

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A black man confronts a small white man on the sidewalk and asks for money. The white man responded "no".

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If you place a dog next to a cow, they're not the same size

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How do you tell if your boyfriend is gay? He is having sex with men

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whats the difference between a black guy, spook and a porch monkey? they are all stupid, stinky, n-i-g-g-e-r-s!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops