What do you call a black man playing a bass guitar? A bassist.

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What happens when your school teacher gives you homework over the break? You give your teacher homework too!

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What do you do when you say shut up to someone and they say make me? Rip out their vocal cords.

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What starts with the letter P and ends with 'orn'? Porn....

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knock knock? who's there? a guy..... so the man open's the door and the guy clutching a knife stabs repeatedly at his chest killing him and drags his body down into his cellar locking him away from the open world. by Mad James

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This is my favorite antijoke.

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What did the gay man see when he looked out the window? A UPS truck that was shipping a monkey

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How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? The same amount as white people, stop being racist.

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knock knock, Whos there ? ( runs away ) trololololololololol

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Whats worse than losing your keys? Your entire family dying in a preventable house fire.

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Why did the whale rape a guy? He wanted to see what would happen.

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What/s funnier than 24 dead Jews? 25 dead Jews. What/s funnier than 25 dead Jews? 6 million dead Jews. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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What's green, grows in my basement, and if fun to smoke? Mold. I lied about it being fun to smoke.

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Its alright for you to act like a bitch but its not allright for me to call u one

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Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench A: The NBA

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs sitting at your doorstep? matt what do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in the water? bob what do you call a man that just had his daughter taken away from him? ...sam

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Man: Would you like to see someone Man 2: Sure Man: How bout the inside of an ambulance

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Want to hear the story about how I got put in prison? So I have an odd bunch of friends: one of them is Polish and he works at a call centre, the other is a slave trader and his name is Richard. We tend to meet outside our Polish friend's house to speak or to do "business" when need be (I run errands for Richard) and the other day that's where I got asked to kidnap an American. "That's strange" I thought, but nevertheless I went out and took the American from his house and carried him over in a sack over to our meeting place. I handed him over and sneaked off as soon as I could, thinking I was home free. But I wasn't. The police turned up all angry like. There were witnesses. Turns out a bunch of kids saw me giving Dick a Yank next to the telephone Pole.

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2 nuns were in a bathtub. One says to the other "Could you pass me the soap please?" The other replies, "What do you think I am, a radio?"

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When life gives you lemons, you should be wondering how "life" managed to give you those lemons.

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What does it mean when you see a bunch of blacks running in one direction? That you need to be more specific.

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why did the man die? he had cancer

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A man walks into a bar. He then takes a step back and notices that his head hurts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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