A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

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vote this down and i will DOX you

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Theres an irishman , scottish man and a welsh man on a plane they where going to france

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what do you call a jew hanging from a tree? dead

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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why did the little boy cross the road? because he had been raped.

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masturbating on a tarc bus

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Why was the black guy charged for murder? He killed his wife.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Whats do Hispanics and Blacks have in common? They are both stereo-typically defined and thus the subject of many popular jokes.

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what do get when you throw a penny in between a jew and a mexican? nothing besides one less penny

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What did Johnny do this wednesday? He went to school to be academically taught to get a high GPA of all the other children so he could go and pursuit his dream so he won't be left at home with a drunk wife and 6 kids with $190,000 in debt from the IRS

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There was a lil girl in a red hoody skipping to her grandma's house. When she got there she noticed her grandma wasn't home. The lil girl panics and see's a wolf. She hesitates and asks the wolf "Have you seen my grandma" The wolf replies with a yes, shes in the backyard planting flowers.

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one day i went on a swing, somone pushed me and i fell broke my leg,cracked three ribs, cut my lip, fractured my toe and died of internal bleeding to my brain.

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*knock knock* Who's there? ...Who's there?... *opens door to find a dead baby on the front door step*

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How many dead bodies does it take to fill up a bathtub? Wellll.......... It depends on how big the bathtub is.

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Why did the woman cross the road? To welcome the new neighbors.

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What's great about taking a shower with a twelve year old girl. Pulling her hair back and making her look like a six year old

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate your mom.

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What's the difference between a hipster and a steaming pile of shit? Many things.

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What is black, white, and red all over A penguin in a blender

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Why did the tornado cross the road? Cuz it's a tornado. Don't question it. Run.

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Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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