Why didnt suzy give mary i high five? because i cut off her hand

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Person 1: 'Ask me if I'm a tree' Person 2: 'Are you a tree?' Person 1: 'No.'

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Dani Barton is not that! She is a great girl with a strong heart and feelings. The statement below is a joke, hence why it was published on AntiJokes. This is NOT a joke however.

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A bear walks into a bar, and says "I would like a pint of..........beer." The bar tender asked "why the long pause?" The bear replies "I think I just had a stroke."

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Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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A dog says to a horse "Hey, why the long face?" the horse just looks at him.

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the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

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Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a tire swing? A: I don't have a tire swing hanging in my backyard.

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What's brown and sticky? The stuff that comes out of your anus

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A guy walks into a bra. The woman screams and calls 991.

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a blonde does something stupid. she dies. its funny.

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A blind man walks into a bar... And a table. And a chair.

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Why did Bob stop at the light? Because it was red and not doing so would be illegal.

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A girl asked for lip balm. She put some on and her lips exploded.

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Why was the Chinese Man mistaken for the other Chinese Man? They were twins.

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Casey Anthony kills a baby

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Why couldn't the girl swing on the swing set? She had no arms.

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Other Guy: What are you looking at? Me: You.

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Why did the boy fall off the zipline? He had no arms.

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Hi im a joke i eat turtles

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Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

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People are a lot like slinkies. Not really good for anything, but still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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