Why can't february march Because april may

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A bear walks into a bakerey. He aks for a loaf of bread. The bakers asks: "White or brown?" The bear answers: "It doesn't matter, I'm on the motorcycle".

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When is it unlucky to see a black cat? When you are a mouse.

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How do you get a cat off a swing? You throw a dog at it.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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What's worse than watching the Hunger Games? Playing the Hunger Games

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When Kurt Cobain was little, his mother told him to never play with guns but I guess it went through one ear and out the other.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Mike Mike who? Mike who you just called and told to come over Oh ok, come in

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? I don't eat pizza

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How did the girl get her Mardi Gras beads? She purchased them at a reasonable price from a party store.

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What did the Rasta man say when he got his dread stuckin the toilet ?

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How do you tell if your boyfriend is gay? He is having sex with men

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A black man confronts a small white man on the sidewalk and asks for money. The white man responded "no".

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Whats red and dirty? Her period

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An old lady says, "Oh i see now." The guy standing next to her says, " Honey oyu know im blind right?"

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so a blonde walks into a bank, opens her purse, pulls out her check and cashes it. She then returns to her car and proceeds home.

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whats the difference between a black guy, spook and a porch monkey? they are all stupid, stinky, n-i-g-g-e-r-s!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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Why did little Suzy fall of the Swing? Someone threw a fridge at her.

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A ginger kid, a blonde kid and a brunette jump off a 50 foot building... All of them die apart from all of them because luckily there was a swimming pool at the bottom

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What do you get when you cross an African, a white person, an Asian and a Spaniard? Society's worst nightmare

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? 17.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cot Death.

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What does a baby and a bowling ball share in common? They both displace a similar amount of water.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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