You're always working, why don't you spend some time with your daughter? be a good father. But i already am. We're sleeping together while you work every night.

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dont you love porch monkeys? no.

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knock knock who's there? rude, interrupting cow rude, interrupting cow who? just kidding, its steve. cows can't talk

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the man cry when he received his meal at McDonalds? They didn't give him a happy meal.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

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A blonde rubs a lamp hoping to find a genie that will grant her 3 wishes. It didn't happen.

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Roses are red,Violets are blue, I like Tities and so do you

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What's the difference between a pizza and a black man? It would be cannibalism to eat a black man.

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How do you stop a black man from bleeding? You give him a bandaid. What if he keeps crying? Tell him to stop. What if he cries more? Buy him an ostrich.

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What does Santa and a grape have in common? They're both purple, except Santa.

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What's the difference between a cow and a Spanish person? To get to the other side

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I went to the opticians to get my eyes checked. The optician said "you need glasses".

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What did the black kid get for christmas?? Your tv

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www.hurr-durr.com

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Steven and Daniel are playing with super soakers in the back yard. Steven says to Daniel: "You can't squirt me!" Daniel says to Steven: "Yes I can!" Daniel is HIV positive.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? George Bush

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Finding TWO worms in your apple.

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Aww good to see you looking positive! He said to the boy dying of HIV

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Roses are red Violets are blue This poem sucks GET OVER IT

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In this country, you gotta get the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, you get shot the F*** up at the end of Scarface.

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Q: Why is Abu Soooo Dank? A: Because he scores too many left-foot bangers

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Q: What's your favorite song? A: Not one in particular. I like all kinds of music.

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Q: Why did the crazy man stare at the orange juice container? A: Because it started talking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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